My Life in Renovations
In Vancouver for the weekend.
Stopped at my favorite shoe store to pick up some new kicks and found the latest iteration of the Adicolor as part of the consortium 30th anniversary releases. Soft leather in a blue pastel, total win for summer.
Everything runs away from me. My feet in the sand, the tides to the sea.
When I was a kid I’d imagine what it was like to live at the mall. It was always awesome. Now I’m not a kid and I’m not imagining anything, I’ve literally been living on campus for a little over a week.
I sold my house ten days ago and found myself with 2 weeks of limbo before I moved in elsewhere. I tried the couch surfing thing for a couple nights but it was inconvenient having to plan around other people’s lives. I tried living with my parents for a few days but it was inconvenient having to drive the 1.5 hour commute in from their town. I tried staying at the bath house one night but it was loud and I kept getting fucked. I settled on living on campus.
It’s really a pretty ideal set up. My filing cabinet has become somwhat of a dresser, I have some toiletries and few changes of clothes, I have a sleeping bag, and I have a couple pillows stashed away. I unfurl my bed every evening and tuck it all away back my filing cabinet every morning. My office has a spare 5ft (albeit uncomfortable) desk that has become my pseudo bed at night. The department lounge recently got a Keurig so I have coffee in the morning and the campus has plenty of (terrible) food options to eat. I’ve been showering in the locker rooms at the gym. There’s pretty much everything a person needs to survive here.
I’ve got one more night of this and then I’m back to being housed.
I’m moving so all of the shoes have to get packed… Number of boxes to pack my kitchen: 5; Number of boxes to pack my shoes: 5.
Tutti Frutti Frozen Yogurt. It’s my new obsession. It also scored me some cool points when I took the boy there for a date. I’m so hip.
I am not me brushing my teeth in the shower. Instead I am the toothpaste, sloshed about and made frothy. Leaving you with that minty fresh feeling that screams “hygiene”. I let you start your day with the confidence of knowing that whatever rot and decomposition that occurred in your mouth over night is gone.
You repay me for this by spitting me into the tub where I coalesce with the water carrying the rest of your filth. Together we circle the drain, around and around. Waiting to sink down that black hole. Only god knows where I’m going. God and the plumber.
When I’m feeling down about myself I buy things. It makes me feel better for a little while. Then, when that wears off and I feel down again at least I look fucking awesome.
I don’t know how good Friday was. My plan was to meet my friend/ex for nacho’s and beer, instead we ate some drugs and ended up having a threesome with some random we picked up at the bar (who turned out to have a monstrous cock). Not quite what I had planned.
The Subway guy making my sandwich at the University recognized me from high school. I told him I didn’t want any olives. When he asked if I needed napkins I said “nah, I’ll just use one of my degrees”.
I didn’t actually, but there’s a cliche about pumping gas in there somewhere.
I read an article on the Calgary Herald the other day about entitled workers. In the article were some quotes from a local online marketing group. I liked what they said about managing employee retention so I decided to check out their website and next thing I know I’m looking at their career postings. Instead of the typical “send us your resume” blurb they had a little online form to fill in with the following: “tell us the most interesting thing not on your CV; tell us why you’re qualified for this position; what’s your twitter handle?” and then some contact info. Needless to say, I filled out the form in the sassiest way I could think of, for whatever fucking reason… now I’m meeting with them for coffee this week to discuss the job.
I said I’m an addicted, obsessed, shoe fetishist. I said my mother and father think ill of me. I said I’ve been “beating my head against a wall” at my current job. I don’t even know if I want a (fourth) job. This isn’t how things work in the real world. How is this even happening?
I have a thing for sleeping with my boyfriends (male) roommates.
I have a perfectly nice boy at the moment. He’s kind, thoughtful, smart, and established. He’s all aces.
My solution to this problem? Going out with a 23 year old who is probably neither kind, or thoughtful, smart, nor established. What he is though is the ex-boyfriend of one of my ex-boyfriends.
I’m one of those people that deserves to be single.
